Experts At Not Talking About It
by ThingsHopedFor
Summary: "Leo is anything but subtle, and all you want is subtlety." / After Percy and Annabeth fall into Tartarus, Leo and Nico find comfort in each other. Leo/Nico.


**AN: Someone should take away my laptop, I swear. All I am capable of is writing angst with a dash of fluff. Also, this is dedicated to Taffeh A. Llama, because I worked out the plot with her, and because the last two paragraphs of this were inspired by something she said. I've decided that Taffeh is my muse, so if you like this, don't thank me; thank her.**

**Warnings: Slash. Major slash. Leo/Nico. Lots of slashy goodness. Also, Nico is a potty mouth. And there's like a ton of angst in here (WELL IT WAS ANGSTY TO ME ANYWAYS) so there's that.**

**Disclaimer: If I were Rick Riordan, Leo/Nico would be cannon, Luke would still be alive, and nobody would have ever fallen into Tartarus. Alas, I am not Master Riordan. So I must result to writing fics like these.**

**Enjoy, my darlings!**

* * *

When you first meet Leo Valdez, it's right after Percy rescues you from the jar, but you aren't properly introduced until after Percy and Annabeth fall into Tartarus together.

After they fall, everyone boards the Argo II in silence. There's silence, and everyone looks at one another, and you're not sure how to pull yourself together again. Because you know Percy and Annabeth aren't dead, but damn it, you tried-you tried to save the one person who is most important to you, and you failed. You failed, _again_.

It's Leo who breaks the silence, and at first you're glad for it, because otherwise you think you might cry. But then you register his words.

"Well, I guess they're _falling for each other_," he says, and grins at you all.

There's a shocked silence where you try desperately not to lunge at him, and have to force down the urge to open up the ground to swallow him whole.

Hazel's hand is on your arm. "Nico," she says warningly, and you take a deep breath, closing your eyes and praying you don't start crying.

You're fourteen, for fuck's sake. You can't be crying like a little girl every time something goes wrong.

"Leo," the other girl-Piper, you think, but you were never actually introduced to her-admonishes the Latino, her voice choked up. "You can't-you can't say things like that, Leo."

"Not cool," agrees Jason (who you met at Camp Jupiter before Hera started this whole mess) as he gives Leo a warning look.

Leo winces. "Too soon?" he says lightly, and you push yourself to your feet roughly.

"Fuck off," you growl, and the look he gives you is surprised, and Hazel's scolding you and your language, but once again you were unable to save someone you care about, so you shake her hand off of your arm and glare at Leo.

"Sorry, man," Leo says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "It's just, humor, you know, it's how I-"

"I don't fucking care," you interrupt, leveling him with your most frosty glare (the campers at Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter don't call you the Ice Prince for nothing), and he recoils.

You push past him, your jaw set tight, and you make your way into the lower level of the Argo II, where you find Percy's bedroom.

You perch on his bed, taking in the messy room, and you tell yourself you're not going to cry, but you do, anyways. You press your face into Percy's pillow and you cry, because you still can't save the people you care about.

And suddenly, it's too much, and you're thinking about Bianca again, and you swore-you fucking _swore_-that you weren't going to think about her anymore, not now that she's chosen rebirth, but you can't stop. And Percy and Annabeth are in Tartarus, and as much as you love Hazel, she's not family like Percy is. Percy's your cousin, he's like a brother, and that's why this hurts so much.

Because you're always failing to save what's important to you, in the end.

* * *

The next time you see Leo, you have to try really, _really_ hard not to break his jaw.

You didn't sleep well because your dreams were plagued by visions of Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus, and you were back in that jar, suffocating.

You pull yourself together when you get up to go to breakfast, and you pray to the gods that your eyes don't look as puffy and red and swollen as you're sure they must be, what with all the crying you did last night.

Leo's the first one you see when you walk into the dining hall, and he gives you a bright smile and says, "Back from the dead so soon, Nicky?"

You clench your fists and grit your teeth as you sit down between Hazel and Jason.

"Man, you look like Pluto," Jason says sympathetically, and you glare at him even though you know he means well.

"Take a fucking guess why, Boy Wonder," you snarl.

"Nico!" Hazel reprimands, and you can't be mad at your sister, so you pout at her and stare down at the table.

"Aw, don't be too hard on Nicky, Hazel," Leo says, and you swear you're going to kill him painfully one day if he keeps it up with that gods awful nickname.

You look up at Leo and do your best to mind your language as you snap, "I don't need you to defend me."

And Leo smiles, reaching across the table to pat your hand, which you jerk away.

"Don't worry, Ice Prince," he croons.

You stand so abruptly, your chair is knocked backwards, causing a loud clatter, but you don't bother picking it up.

The doors slam shut behind you when you walk out of the dining hall.

* * *

When you ask where Hazel is a few days later, Frank says she's with the horses in the stables. So even though you don't like horses, that's where you head.

You're going because you need someone to talk to, because you need to get everything out-you need to explain what's going on to someone. Normally, you'd go to Percy for something like this, since he knows you better than anyone else. But Percy's not here right now, and if you keep everything in, you're going to commit either suicide or homicide, and at this point, it could go either way.

You step into the stable and wrinkle your nose at the smell of horse manure, but you press forward into the stable, looking for Hazel.

You find her in one of the empty horse stalls, but she's not alone.

Leo's with her, eyes rimmed red and tears leaving tracks down his dirty cheeks. He's trying to pull himself together, but he's obviously having a hard time, and you don't mean to eavesdrop, but that's exactly what you do.

"I don't know," Leo says, and his voice cracks. "I miss them like crazy. If I'd never made that deal with Nemesis-"

"Shh, Leo," Hazel hushes him, running her finger through his hair as he leans his head against her shoulder. "It's not your fault. You never could have predicted this."

"I should have, though," Leo protests, his tone bordering on hysterical. "I should have known something like this would happen. This is why you can't make deals with gods."

He reaches out, punching the stable wall hard enough to make it crack, and you take a step back.

"It's my fault Percy and Annabeth fell into Tartarus," Leo whimpers, his shoulders shaking, and your heart breaks for Leo, because no matter how much of a pain in the ass he can be, he gets it, too.

You think back to those first moments on the Argo II after Annabeth and Percy fell, after you yelled at Leo. What was it he'd tried to say when he was apologizing?

It's just, humor, you know, it's how I-

You'd cut him off before he could finish, but now you wish you hadn't.

Everyone deals with things differently. You get stressed, angry, pissed off. Maybe Leo uses humor.

You go back up to the top deck without alerting Hazel or Leo to your presence, and when Frank asks if you found her, you set your jaw tight and shrug.

Later, when you see Leo at dinner, he's pulled himself together, and you almost can't tell he was ever distraught. He tells the same awful jokes he always does and is a general ass, but you look at him differently, now.

Humor is how he deals with things, you realize, so no matter how many jibes he makes at you, no matter how many times he ruffles your hair and calls you varying names (including, but not limited to, Ice Prince, Ghost King, and Prince of Hell), you don't say anything. You give him half-hearted glares, and after a while he slacks off and gives you odd looks, like you're a puzzle he's trying to figure out, only he's missing half the pieces and lost the picture of the finished product.

You don't talk about seeing him in his moment of weakness.

When you go back to Percy's bedroom to sleep that night, you don't dream about Percy and Annabeth. You dream about a fifteen year old boy who knows all of your erogenous zones, who knows exactly where to touch you to make you gasp out his name, to make you beg for more.

The next morning, you can't look Leo in the eyes, but at least when Hazel asks, you can truthfully say you slept well.

You don't say anything about the dreams.

* * *

You're almost to the House of Hades when it happens.

You and the rest of the guys on the Argo II have all taken shifts to keep the ship safe while everyone else sleeps and relaxes, and the others have taken care to not place you and Leo on the same shift, lest he pisses you off and you finally kill him.

But after a particularly vicious wave of sea monsters puts Coach Hedge out of commission, permanently (you feel the moment when his soul leaves his body), you and Leo have to take the same shift to fix the change.

It's then that it happens.

"So, you've known Percy for a while?" Leo asks, tinkering with some scrap metal. He can't keep his hands still, and you can't help but notice how long his fingers are, which only makes you think of your latest dream of him.

You think you've spent too much time in the Underworld, allowing souls in Asphodels Field tell you all about sex and how everything works.

"Yeah," you reply, forcing your eyes away from Leo's hands and your mind away from thoughts of what they could do to you. You force yourself to focus on the task at hand-keeping the Argo safe.

This might be the first civilized conversation you've ever had with Leo.

"Well, that's cool."

Leo fiddles with wiring some more, and you frown at his hands and the thoughts they prompt.

"What are you making?" you ask, and the smile Leo gives you is so dazzlingly bright, you realize you don't often show any interest in Leo and what he does. It occurs to you that no one does, really, but they should, because the smile Leo gives you is so genuine, it warms you to your core, and for a moment, you forget about everything, and it's just you and Leo enjoying the slight breeze and the starry sky.

"I'm not sure yet," Leo is saying. "Right now it's just a bunch of scrap metal. I'm sure it'll take a personality by the end of the night."

He offers you the small pile of junk, and hesitantly, you accept.

"Personality?" you ask absently, as you turn the small figure over and over in your hands. You can see the shape it's taking, even if it's loose, just a whisper beneath all the extra scrap and wires.

"Yeah, you know. Like, what it is. _Who _it is."

You look up at Leo, cocking your head to the side. "It's a dragon," you say, and you hand it back.

Leo raises his eyebrows at you. "What?"

"It's a dragon," you repeat. "I can tell. It's going to be a dragon."

Leo watches you for a moment, then grins. "What are you, the scrap metal whisperer?"

You shake your head and look away, because you can feel your cheeks getting hot.

"Hey, come on, Nicky." Leo nudges you with his elbow. "Don't close off now that I've finally gotten you talking."

"Why do you call me that?" you ask, abruptly, and you didn't mean to, but the words leave your mouth anyways.

Leo blinks at you. "What?"

"Why do you call me Nicky?" you repeat, and Leo scrunches up his eyebrows.

"Gee, Nico, I don't know," he admits. "I've never thought about it. Nicknames just sort of come naturally."

You frown, because that's not a satisfying answer, and it's in no way the one you were subconsciously hoping he'd give you.

"Why?" Leo asks, and you can feel his eyes on you.

You pull your Aviator jacket tighter around your shoulders, because it's cold out here, and you're exhausted, but you know if you sleep, you'll only dream of Percy in Tartarus or Leo in bed, and the two boys are so similar that you don't understand how you can feel so differently about the two of them.

"Nico?" Leo says, sounding concerned.

You look up at him, and you don't plan it at all, but something possesses you to lean forward and press your cold, chapped lips to his warm, soft ones.

There's a moment where Leo doesn't respond and you don't know what you're doing, and oh, gods, this isn't right, Leo doesn't feel like that about you, what are you doing, this is so wrong, and-oh.

_Oh_.

Leo's lips are moving against yours, somehow tender and forceful all at the same time, and then you're on your back on the deck of the Argo, and Leo's warm hands are underneath your shirt, gliding over your ribs, and you've never felt this good in your life.

You and Leo only kiss for the whole night, but when your shift is up and you both go to sleep, your skin feels tingly all over and you have to suppress a grin.

You don't ever talk about it.

* * *

Leo teases you about how quiet you are a few days later, when everyone is gathered in the dining hall to eat.

You politely tell him to go fuck himself, and Leo's eyes twinkle with mirth and he laughs so loudly that your cheeks get so hot, because you just _know _what Leo is thinking about (_who_ he's thinking about), and you grin down at the table and try to pretend everyone's eyes aren't on you.

"Gods," Piper says, looking back and forth between the both of you. "Are you guys actually-dare I say it-_friends_?"

Leo cackles and crows, "Never!" and you continue staring at the table, because you can remember that night just a few days ago when those lips were put to better use than making lousy jokes.

"You'd better be careful, then," Piper says, smiling. "Someone might mistake you for friends one of these days."

"Not likely," you mutter, and Leo winks at you from across the table. Your cheeks get so hot, you worry you'll have to discard your jacket.

Because Leo is anything but subtle, and all you want is subtlety.

The next time you take guard duty together, Leo gives you a sloppy hand job, and your eyes roll back into your head and you grasp his shoulders, and his name is on your lips as you come.

After, you don't talk about it.

* * *

The night before you reach California, you and Leo sleep together properly. Its his first time as well as yours, but you both know what goes where and how to do everything, so even though it's awkward and there are too many times that you both dissolve into giggles because this is supposed to be a serious time for both of you but you guys are fourteen and fifteen and you don't know what the hell you're doing, and if laughing helps you get through this, than so be it.

Nevertheless, once it finally happens, it's _glorious_. You don't mean to sound like a girl, but you feel like one, because Leo tops, but he makes you feel better than you ever have in your life, even if at first it hurts a little and it's hard to get through because you're both so busy laughing at your own awkwardness that you forget what you're supposed to be doing.

You try to keep quiet, because you're in Leo's room and Jason is just next door, but you're pretty sure that when you come, the sound you make is far too loud. Once you regain your senses and pull yourself back together, you register Leo's heavy weight on top of you, and your cheeks burn, because the sound you made was much too loud, and you lost your virginity to a boy you didn't even like two weeks ago.

You shove Leo, who is already asleep, off of you and redress quickly, wincing at the pain in your ass, and you make your way to Percy's room, where you curl up and think about everything that just happened, and you don't sleep at all.

The next morning, as you pull up outside the Doors of Death, Leo looks at you curiously, but you don't talk about it.

* * *

Both Percy and Annabeth offer to close the Doors, but they're so weak, so frail, and you know neither of them can manage. And Leo steps up to the plate.

"It's my job, right?" he says, and he tries to keep up a smile, but you can see it slipping, and Annabeth and Percy are shaking and too broken to protest.

Piper and Hazel cry, and Jason covers his mouth with his hand, and Frank can't look at Leo, but your attention zeroes in on the son of Hephaestus, and your whole relationship comes crashing back to you, how you went from hating this boy to respecting him to having dreams about him that you eventually turned into reality.

You haven't known this boy very long at all, but you love him, you realize. How could you not? He was there for you when you lost Percy and Annabeth, even if he didn't quite know how to be there, and that's what's important.

This time, you won't lose what's important to you.

You take six strong steps and insert yourself right in front of Leo, glaring up at him, because he has a couple inches on you.

"You don't get to leave me behind," you say forcefully. "I'm tired of being left behind."

Leo shakes his head, pressing his lips together. "No, Nico-"

"If you're going, I'm going," you say, cutting him off, and you've never been more sure of anything in your entire life.

Leo cocks his head at you, studying you seriously, and then he nods, once, and you duck under his arm to stand behind him. You look over his shoulder at everyone.

Piper is visibly shaken, and she presses her face into Jason's shoulder, who looks confused and upset all at once.

Hazel is screaming, reaching for you, but Frank holds her back.

Percy and Annabeth cling to each other, shaking and broken and fragile. Annabeth cries, even as her gray eyes study you and Leo and know exactly what's going on even if the others don't, because she's Annabeth and that's how her mind works. Percy salutes you with a trembling hand, and you and Leo both return the gesture.

Then Leo looks over his shoulder at you, putting on a brave smile.

"You ready, baby?"

You wrinkle your nose at the pet name, but an odd rush of warmth fills your body, and your cheeks heat up.

You place your hand on one of the Doors, just beneath Leo's hand, and you nod. With a deep breath, you both push the doors shut, plunging yourselves into darkness.

When you panic, grasping for Leo's hand, his arms find their way around your waist.

"Shh, sweetheart," he whispers. "We're okay. We have each other."

You cling to him, your arms around his neck, your face buried in his shoulder, and you think you should tell him to knock it off with the pet names.

"I hate pet names," you mutter into the skin of his neck, and a broken laugh shakes his body.

"Sorry, darling," he says, his fingers running through your hair, and you shiver.

"Except that one," you whisper, and your words are muffled. "I like that one."

Leo kisses your forehead. "Thanks for staying with me."

"I love you," you say, without any hint of doubt or hesitation. "I'd stay with you wherever you end up."

Leo's arms tighten around your waist.

"I love you, too," he says, his voice cracking.

You close your eyes, and you envision yourself at your father's palace. You don't know if this will work, so you can only pray it does.

After a long moment, you can feel the shadows crowding around you, swirling, pulling together, and in a moment, you're not in Tartarus anymore.

You're in your father's throne room, and there are ghostly soldiers everywhere, and then you're slowly sinking under, the trip having taken such a toll on you, but you can see Leo's face above yours, shining like a beacon amongst the faces of the dead.

"I love you," he whispers, and you nod, smiling, but then you go under.

* * *

Leo babies you, during the time you spend in your father's palace underground.

When you wake up, you feel like shit, but Hades somehow gets you McDonald's from above ground, and after you eat, you feel much better, but Leo insists upon you staying in bed for the rest of the day.

You play card games and bicker and pretend your father's soldiers aren't watching your every move to report back to Hades.

You and Leo don't talk about what happened in Tartarus.

You don't know how long you spend in the Underworld, but for those few weeks, everything is okay.

You and Leo chase each other through the halls of Hades' palace, and sometimes you go out into Persephone's gardens. Once, Leo tries to eat one of the pomegranates, but you stop him just in time, scolding him as your heart beats wildly in your chest. It takes him a moment to realize what's wrong, but once he does, he kisses you sweetly and promises that he's fine.

"It's okay, darling," he mumbles into your ear, hooking his thumbs through your belt loops. "I didn't eat it."

He's called you other names, like "love," "honey," and "sweetie," but "darling" is the only one you tolerate.

You spend your days roaming the fields of the Underworld, and at one point, you end up in Elysium, where you run into Charles Beckendorf and Silena Beauregard.

You make introductions, and Charles and Leo get along great, unsurprisingly. Silena just smiles secretly at you, and you can tell she knows what's going on between you and Leo.

At first it bothers you, but then you realize that you don't really mind, and when it's time to go back to Hades' palace, you take Leo's hand and say your goodbyes. Silena's eyes shine, and she kisses your cheek before you go. She says she's happy for you, and you know she means it.

That's not all you do in the Underworld, though. You also spend quite a bit of time in your room, trying not to be too loud as Leo does things to you that shouldn't be legal.

In the Underworld, it's easy to forget about the war.

But all too soon, Persephone appears for the winter, and you realize how long you've been in the Underworld.

Persephone comes bearing news of the war. The gods won, she says, and Leo whispers to you that he knew they would, but you shush him. She also says that as far as she knows, Percy, Annabeth, Piper, Jason, Hazel, and Frank are still alive. She can't say much for the rest of Camp Half-Blood, and she doesn't know anything about Camp Jupiter's state, but it's enough, and the next day, you and Leo agree that it's time to return to the land of the living.

* * *

You shadow travel back to Camp Half-Blood to find it in a state of half-repair. You cling to Leo's hand as you walk through the run down camp grounds, finding crumbling cabins and debris galore.

Campers scurry around, clearing off the walkway and trying to put things back together. They all give you and Leo a wide berth.

Before long, you've reached the Big House, and you take a deep breath to collect yourself before going inside.

There, in the middle of the living room, is Annabeth, Percy, Piper, Jason, Hazel, and Frank, all sitting with Chiron and speaking in hushed tones.

They look up when you and Leo walk in, and there's a shocked silence before anyone speaks.

"Aren't you going to welcome us back?" Leo cracks, grinning, and you elbow him in the side, making him whine.

Hazel is on her feet in an instant, throwing her arms around your shoulders and knocking your hand out of Leo's. You stagger back, but tentatively wrap your arms around her waist.

In the last few weeks spent with Leo, you've gotten used to physical contact, but it's still a little strange.

Then everyone's around you, crowding you in, hugging you and demanding to know how you're still alive. Leo has to tell the story, because Hazel doesn't quite let go of you, and you can't talk around her frizzy hair.

Everyone is understandably upset that you didn't let them know you were alive, but Annabeth shushes them with a firm, "They needed to recuperate, and they didn't need us worrying about them when we were in the middle of a war."

You feel awful about that, about leaving the others to the war, and you try to apologize, but Percy cuts you off with a shake of his head and the promise that they all understand, and that you needed the rest. You want to object, but Leo elbows you, and you let it go.

* * *

Jason stays with Piper in Camp Half-Blood, but Hazel and Frank go back to Camp Jupiter, leaving you alone with the Hades cabin.

Apparently, while you and Leo were in the Underworld, the Romans attacked Camp Half-Blood, but Percy and the last of the seven made it back in time to convince Reyna to stop the attack.

Octavian, unfortunately, didn't die in the war, but these days, it seems Reyna has him all straightened out. It's pathetic, you think, how he follows her around like a lost puppy. You figure she's good in bed, but you don't share those thoughts with Leo, because he is, as you're learning, a jealous boyfriend.

No one really questions why you and Leo stay in the Hades cabin together after you rebuild Camp Half-Blood.

You're pretty sure Annabeth has a word with Percy about it, because one day he doesn't have a clue, and the next he's telling you he supports your relationship.

Piper figures it out for herself, because she's a daughter of Aphrodite and that's what she does, and she smirks at you and Leo for two weeks before Jason gets fed up and demands to know what's going on that makes Piper give you and Leo these looks.

He's the last to know about you out of your group of friends, because when you tell Hazel, Frank's there, too.

Jason claims to be offended by the fact that Leo, as his best friend, didn't tell him, but you can tell that he's happy for you and Leo.

* * *

As you lie with Leo at night after a round of sex, you think about your relationship, and everything you've been through.

Leo pushes your buttons in all the right ways, to piss you off, to turn you on. He knows all of your ticks, what's too far and how much he can get away with. He's sort of perfect for you, you have to admit.

Of course, the steamy sex doesn't hurt at all.

But you still have nightmares about being in the jar, and about Percy and Annabeth, and these days, you dream about losing Leo, too. But every time you wake up, Leo is right there, calming you down with practiced ease.

Sometimes, it's him who wakes up from nightmares, and even though he's never said what they're about, you make sure you're there when he wakes up screaming.

After everything you've been through, Leo is your everything. He's a reminder that, for once in your life, you managed to save someone you cared about.

But you still never talk about it.


End file.
